{"id":22,"date":"2007-10-31T22:00:55","date_gmt":"2007-11-01T04:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/\/?p=22"},"modified":"2009-07-17T17:13:58","modified_gmt":"2009-07-17T22:13:58","slug":"hollywood-nobody-by-lisa-samson-first-day-blog-tour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/?p=22","title":{"rendered":"Hollywood Nobody by Lisa Samson – FIRST Day Blog Tour"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It is November 1st<\/span><\/strong>, time for the FIRST Day Blog Tour! (Join our alliance! Click the button!) The FIRST day of every month we will feature an author and his\/her latest book’s FIRST chapter!<\/p>\n

This month’s feature author is: <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

LISA SAMSON<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

and her book:<\/span> <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Hollywood Nobody<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Th1nk Books (August 30, 2007)<\/p>\n

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:<\/span> <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/em><\/a> Lisa Samson is the author of twenty books, including the Christy Award-winning Songbird<\/em>. Apples of Gold<\/em> was her first novel for teens. Visit Lisa at http:\/\/www.lisasamson.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n

These days, she’s working on Quaker Summer<\/em>, volunteering at Kentucky Refugee Ministries, raising children and trying to be supportive of a husband in seminary. (Trying . . . some days she’s downright awful. It’s a good thing he’s such a fabulous cook!) She can tell you one thing, it’s never dull around there.
\n\"\"<\/a>
\n<\/a>Other Novels by Lisa:
\nStraight Up<\/a>, <\/a>, Club Sandwich<\/a>, Songbird<\/a>, Tiger Lillie<\/a>, The Church Ladies<\/a>, Women’s Intuition: A Novel<\/a>, Songbird<\/a>, The Living End<\/a><\/p>\n

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:<\/span> <\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/a>
\n<\/a><\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/span>Hollywood Nobody: April 1<\/span><\/strong>
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Happy April Fool\u2019s Day! What better day to start a blog about Hollywood than today?<\/p>\n

Okay, I\u2019ve been around film sets my whole life. Indie films, yeah, and that\u2019s all I\u2019m saying about it here for anonymity\u2019s sake. But trust me, I\u2019ve had my share of embarrassing moments. Like outgrowing Tom Cruise by the age of twelve \u2014 in more ways than one, with the way he\u2019s gotten crazier than thong underwear and low-rise jeans. Thankfully that fashion disaster has run for cover.
\n <\/span>
\nUnderwear showing? Not a good idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fact:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know of a single girl who doesn\u2019t wish the show-itall boxer-shorts phenomenon would go away as well. Guys, we just don\u2019t want to see your underwear. Truthfully, we believe that there is a direct correlation between how much underwear you show and how much you\u2019ve got upstairs, if you know what I mean.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen the stars at their best and at their worst. And believe me, the worst is really, really bad. Big clue: you\u2019d look just as pretty as they do if you went to such lengths. As you might guess, some of them are really nice and some of them are total jerks, and there\u2019s a lot of blah in-betweeners. Like real life, pretty much, only the extremes are more extreme sometimes. I mean honestly, how many people under twenty do you<\/em> know who have had more than one plastic surgery?<\/p>\n

So you\u2019ll have to forgive me if I\u2019m a little hard on these folks. But if it was all sunshine and cheerleading, I doubt you\u2019d read this blog for long, right?<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s Rant:<\/strong> Straightening irons. We\u2019ve had enough of them, Little Stars, okay? It was bad on Helen Hunt at the Oscars, worse on Demi, yet worse on Madonna, and it\u2019s still ridiculous. Especially on those women who are trying to hold onto their youth like Gollum holds onto that ring. Ladies, there\u2019s a reason for keeping your hair at or above your shoulders once you hit forty, and ever after. Think Annette Bening. Now she\u2019s got it going on. And can\u2019t you just see why Warren Beatty settled down for her? Love her! According to The Early Show<\/em> this morning, curls are back, and Little Me ain\u2019t going to tell why I\u2019m so glad about that!<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s Kudo:<\/strong> Aretha Franklin. Big, bold, beautiful, and the best. Her image is her excellence. Man, that woman can sing! She has a prayer chain too. I\u2019m not very religious myself, but you got to respect people who back up what they say they believe. Unless it\u2019s male Scientologists and “silent birth.” Yeah, right. Easy for them to say.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s News:<\/strong> I saw a young actor last summer at a Shakespeare festival in New England. Seth Haas. Seth Hot is more like it. I heard a rumor he\u2019s reading scripts for consideration. Yes, he\u2019s that hot. Check him out here. Tell all your friends about him. And look here on Hollywood Nobody for the first, the hottest news on this hottie. Girls, he\u2019s only nineteen! Fair game for at least a decade-and-a-half span of ages.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but following the antics of new teen rock star Violette Dillinger is something I\u2019m looking forward to. Her first album, released to much hype, hit Billboard\u2019s no. 12 spot its third week out. And don\u2019t you love her hit single “Love Comes Knocking on My Door”? This is going to be fun. A new celeb. Uncharted territory. Will Violette, who seems grounded and talented, be like her predecessors and fall into the “great defiling show-business machine” only to be spit out as a half-naked bimbo? We\u2019ll see, won\u2019t we? Keep your fingers crossed that the real artist survives.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s Quote:<\/strong> “Being thought of as \u2018a beautiful woman\u2019 has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Beauty is essentially meaningless.” Halle Berry<\/p>\n

Later!
\nFriday, April 2<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I knew it was coming soon. We\u2019d been camped out in the middle of a cornfield, mind you, for two weeks. That poke on my shoulder in the middle of the night means only one thing. Time to move on.<\/p>\n

“What, Charley?”<\/p>\n

“Let\u2019s head \u2019em on out, Scotty. We\u2019ve got to be at a shoot in North Carolina tomorrow afternoon. I\u2019ve got food to prepare, so you have to drive.”<\/p>\n

“I\u2019m still only fifteen.”<\/p>\n

“It\u2019s okay. You\u2019re a good driver, baby.”<\/p>\n

My mom, Charley Dawn, doesn\u2019t understand that laws exist for a reason, say, keeping large vehicles out of the hands of children<\/em>. But as a food stylist, she fakes things all the time.<\/p>\n

Her boundaries are blurred. What can I say?<\/p>\n

Charley looks like she succumbed to the peer pressure of plastic surgery, but she hasn\u2019t. I know this because I\u2019m with her almost all the time. I think it\u2019s the bleached-blond fountain of long hair she\u2019s worn ever since I can remember. Or maybe the hand-dyed sarongs and shirts from Africa, India, or Bangladesh add to the overall appearance of youth. I have no idea. But it really makes me mad when anybody mistakes us as sisters.<\/p>\n

I mean, come on! She had me when she was forty!<\/p>\n

My theory: a lot of people are running around with bad eyesight and just don\u2019t know it.<\/p>\n

I throw the covers to my left. If I sling them to my right, they\u2019d land on the dinette in our “home,” to use the term in a fashion less meaningful than a Hollywood “I do.” I grew up in this old Travco RV I call the Y.<\/p>\n

As in Y do I have to live in this mobile home?<\/p>\n

Y do I have to have such an oddball food stylist for a mother?<\/p>\n

Y must we travel all year long? Y will we never live anyplace long enough for me to go to the real Y and take aerobics, yoga, Pilates or \u2014 shoot \u2014 run around the track for a while, maybe swim laps in the pool?<\/p>\n

And Y oh Y must Charley be a vegan?<\/p>\n

More on that later.<\/p>\n

And Y do I know more about Hollywood than I should, or even want to? Everybody\u2019s an actor in Hollywood, and I mean that literally. Sometimes I wonder if any of them even know who they are deep down in that corner room nobody else is allowed into.<\/p>\n

But I wonder the same thing about myself.<\/p>\n

“You\u2019re not asking me to drive while you\u2019re in the kitchen trailer, are you, Charley?”<\/p>\n

“No. I can cook in here. And it\u2019s a pretty flat drive. I\u2019ll be fine.”<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not actually worried about her. I\u2019m thinking about how many charges the cops can slap on me.<\/p>\n

Driving without a license.<\/p>\n

Driving without a seat belt on the passenger.<\/p>\n

Speeding, because knowing Charley, we\u2019re late already.<\/p>\n

Driving without registration. Charley figured out years ago how to lift current stickers off of license plates. She loves “sticking it to the man.” Or so she says.<\/p>\n

I kid you not.<\/p>\n

Oh, the travails of a teenager with an old hippie for a mother. Charley is oblivious as usual as I continue my recollection of past infractions thankfully undetected by the state troopers:<\/p>\n

Driving while someone\u2019s in the trailer. It\u2019s a great trailer, don\u2019t get me wrong, a mini industrial kitchen we rigged up a couple of years ago to make her job easier. Six-range burner, A\/C, and an exhaust fan that sucks up more air than Joan Rivers schmoozing on the red carpet. But it\u2019s illegal for her to go cooking while we\u2019re in motion.<\/span><\/p>\n

“All right. Can I at least get dressed?”<\/p>\n

“Why? You\u2019re always in your pj\u2019s anyway.”<\/p>\n

“Great, Mom.”<\/p>\n

“It\u2019s Charley, baby. You know how I feel about social hierarchy.”<\/p>\n

“But didn\u2019t you just give me an order to drive without a license? What if I say no?”<\/p>\n

She reaches into the kitchen cupboard without comment and tips down a bottle of cooking oil. Charley\u2019s as tall as a twelve-year-old.<\/p>\n

“I mean, let\u2019s be real, Charley<\/em>. You do, in the ultimate end of things, call the shots.”<\/p>\n

I reach back for my glasses on the small shelf I installed in the side of the loft. It holds whatever book I\u2019m reading and my journal. I love my glasses, horn-rimmed “cat glasses” as Charley calls them. Vintage 1961. Makes me want to do the twist and wear penny loafers.<\/p>\n

“Can I at least pull my hair back?”<\/p>\n

She huffs. “Oh, all right, Scotty! Why do you have to be so difficult?”<\/p>\n

Charley has no clue as to how difficult teenagers can actually be. Here I am, schooling myself on the road, no wild friends. No friends at all, actually, because I hate Internet friendships. I mean, how lame, right? No boyfriend, no drugs. No alcohol either, unless you count cold syrup, because the Y gets so cold during the winter and Charley\u2019s a huge conservationist. (Big surprise there.) I should be thankful, though. At least she stopped wearing leather fringe a couple of years ago.<\/p>\n

I slide down from the loft, gather my circus hair into a ponytail, and slip into the driver\u2019s seat. Charley reupholstered it last year with rainbow fabric. I asked her where the unicorns were and she just rolled her eyes. “Okay, let\u2019s go. How long is it going to take?”<\/p>\n

“Oh.” She looks down, picks up a red pepper and hides behind it.<\/p>\n

I turn on her. “You didn\u2019t Google Map it?”<\/p>\n

“You\u2019re the computer person, not me.” She peers above the stem. “I\u2019m sorry?” She shrugs. Man, I hate it when she\u2019s so cute. “Really sorry?”<\/p>\n

“Charley, we\u2019re in Wilmore, Kentucky. As in Ken-Tuck-EEE . As in the middle of nowhere.” I climb out of my seat. “What part of North Carolina are we going to? It\u2019s a wide state.”<\/p>\n

“Toledo Island. Something like that. Near Ocracoke Island. Does that sound familiar?”<\/p>\n

“The Outer Banks?”<\/p>\n

“Are they in North Carolina?”<\/p>\n

Are you kidding me?<\/p>\n

“Let me log on. This is crazy, Charley. I don\u2019t know why you do this to me all the time.”<\/p>\n

“Sorry.” She says it so Valley Girl-like. I really thought I\u2019d be above TME: Teenage Mom Embarrassment. But no. Now, most kids don\u2019t have mothers who dress like Stevie Nicks and took a little too much LSD back in the DAY. It doesn\u2019t take ESP to realize who the adult in this setup is. And she had me, PDQ, out of the bonds of holy matrimony I might add, when she was forty (yes, I already told you that, but it\u2019s still just as true), and that\u2019s
\nOLD to be caught in such an inconvenient situation, don\u2019t you think? The woman had no excuse for such behavior, FYI.<\/p>\n

My theory: Charley\u2019s a widow and it\u2019s too painful to talk about my father. I mean, it\u2019s plausible, right?<\/p>\n

The problem is, I can remember back to when I was at least four, and I definitely do not remember a man in the picture. Except for Jeremy. More on him later too.<\/p>\n

I flip up my laptop. I have a great satellite Internet setup in the Y. I rigged it myself because I\u2019m a lonely geek with nothing better to do with her time than figure out this kind of stuff. I type in the info and wait for the directions. Satellite is slower than DSL, but it\u2019s better than nothing.<\/p>\n

“Charley! It\u2019s seventeen hours away!” I scan the list of twists and turns between here and there. “We have to take a ferry to Ocracoke, and then Toledo Island\u2019s off of there.”<\/p>\n

“Groovy!”<\/p>\n

“Groovy<\/em> died with platform shoes and midis.”<\/p>\n

“Whatever, Scotty.” Only she says it all sunny. She\u2019s a morning person.<\/p>\n

“That phrase should<\/em> be dead.”<\/p>\n

Honestly, I\u2019m not big on lingo. I\u2019ve never been good at it, which is fine by me. Who am I going to impress with cool-speak anyway? Uma Thurman? Yeah, right. “Okay, let\u2019s go.”<\/p>\n

“We can go as long as possible and break camp on the way, you know?” Charley.<\/p>\n

I climb back into the rainbow chair, throw the Y into drive, pull the brake, and we\u2019re moving on down the road.<\/p>\n

Again<\/em>.
\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Sample from Hollywood Nobody \/ ISBN: 1-60006-091-9
\nCopyright \u00a9 2006 NavPress Publishing. All rights reserved. To order copies of this resource, come back to www.navpress.com.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is November 1st, time for the FIRST Day Blog Tour! (Join our alliance! Click the button!) The FIRST day of every month we will feature an author and his\/her latest book’s FIRST chapter! This month’s feature author is: LISA SAMSON and her book: Hollywood Nobody Th1nk Books (August 30, 2007) ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lisa […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-teen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1896,"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions\/1896"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daysongreflections.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}